tears for films

I blogged recently about the therapeutic use of movies to induce crying. Without making any conscious effort I have since "used" several other classics: "Casablanca", "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Shane" all produced the hoped for turning on of the old waterworks, though perhaps a little unfortunately I saw all these in company, which inhibited me from expressing my emotions as freely as I would have liked. Well, you can't have everything. I had to content myself with brimming eyes and a few little chokes and catches in my voice when I tried to speak.

It does not require the insight of a Jung or an Adler to work out what this is about: trying to release the deep sadness about the death of my son, still undimmed after more than 4 years. Certain pieces of music, Mahler and Tchaikovsky, for instance are quite good too.

I have, like many men, found it very difficult to cry in the past. I read once that the average man cries about once every 10 days, but I think that's bollocks. Most men I know can't remember the last time they cried, and will have to delve way back into their childhoods to find a good weep, unless of course they have experienced a major bereavement like myself. And I don't mean the dog or the cat either. Is it really therapeutic to cry? I doubt if any formal research has been done on the subject, so it remains an instinctive thing. I know there are tremendously powerful feelings in me that lurk just beneath the surface, and that crying sometimes seems to ease my pain, at least temporarily. I imagine I will continue in this way for ever...