Right on cue, this morning's post contains a 4 page letter of complaint from my ventolin loving female patient. It is addressed to "Mr Pelagius" and the first line of the letter explains why:
"I do not intend to dignify him with the title "doctor" as he is unworthy of such a description". She then goes on to list my various sins which, summed up, label me a sub-human monster unfit to serve even to lick her stamps, never mind being given the privilege of treating human beings.
I was intending to give a response including the standard apology framed along the lines of "I am sorry if my behaviour or manner in our consultation gave any cause fr offence; this was entirely inadvertent on my part" and then turn to a rebuttal of the detailed points in the letter of complaint. Instead I go straight for the jugular, beginning with the statement that I found her letter extremely offensive and completely out of order, going on to point out her own rudeness and aggressive conduct, and closing by pouring scorn on her claim that she could not raise the £5 bus fare to visit the hospital.
"I have many patients of limited means in my practice: never has anyone ever claimed to be so short of money they could not afford to travel to a nearby hospital to have their problems treated"
It is never a nice thing to be called in so many words a piece of shit, but one has to get used to this in general practice. The real problem here is that she has probably touted her business around a number of practices over the years and most if not all, according to her own testimony, have raised the issue of her overuse of ventolin. I, however, am perhaps the first to take her on and give as good as I got in the ensuing debate. But then I'm like that...
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