Even though they are tucked just under the bed in order to avoid just this kind of catastrophe, on bringing breakfast my wife still manages to step on them. Built from the most modern materials, its thin wires are supposed to have a "memory", which will restore their shape if distorted. It would seem, however, that a certain degree of force will bring about "metallic amnesia" and I find them bent hopelessly out of shape. Suddenly deprived of proper eyesight I am still able to see red. I start screaming and shouting, throwing things about; in so doing terrifying both my wife and the cats with the sheer intensity of my rage. Within an hour the problem is fixed by my optician, but a cloud has covered the sun of this day which will take many hours to pass.
While waiting for the opticians to open I distract myself with the extraordinary tale of the life of James Elroy, as told on "Desert Island Discs" A man who doesn't own a mobile phone, television or even a computer, he describes his favourite activity as "sitting in the dark, brooding quietly". At this moment, I identify with him completely.
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