How are your teeth?

Mine are crap. At least they were. But in 2011 I started spending money on them. Now when I flash my smile, you see thousands and thousands of pounds worth of porcelain venirs and titanium implants. And they look good. As I quip, most people get only two sets of teeth, but I bought a third set.


Most people aren't that lucky. They haven't got that sort of disposable income to lay out on their teeth. So they rot. Why are (or were) my teeth crap? Because my parents, well meaning middle class folk that they were, taught me brush every day, but didn't tell me how. Consequently my yummers were deteriorating badly even before I hit my teens. And there's your problem.


A plan was proposed this week to get teachers to supervise their pupil's dental hygiene. This has come about because despite the interim of nearly 50 years since I was a school kid, parents are no better at teaching their kids how to look after their teeth than they were in 1960. Sweet drinks and chewy sweets are dissolving young people's teeth at a frightening rate, not just here but around the world.


But teachers say: whoa! I got paid to educate, I didn't sign up to be an unpaid dental hygienist.
And they've got a point. But how's this for a plan? Also this week a plan was rolled out to pay GPs £55 to diagnose someone with Alzheimer's- something they're already paid to do in their exceedingly generous contracts. So I suggest that this money be set aside, not to make wealthy GPs even wealthier by paying them to do something they should be doing already, but to pay distinctly unwealthy teachers bonuses for helping their charges look after their teeth. After all it is education, and that is in their job description, but if it's additional work they should be rewarded accordingly.