1.
David Cameron: These council cuts are ridiculous! They're closing libraries, after school services, even basic infrastructure. These cuts are beginning to affect me! I'm writing to the council leader right now.
Adviser: Er, you instigated them yourself, sir.
DC: What?
2.
Boris Johnson: I don't get it. These Palestinians actually don't seem to like me!
Adviser: Could it have something to do with the fact that you showed no interest whatever in their problems, whereas you bigged up the Israelis like they're the greatest race since the ancient Romans?
BoJo: What's wrong with that? The Romans were the greatest civilising influence in history. They told me that at Eton.
Adviser: Yes sir, but they were also a society based on oppression and rule by violence and murder.
BoJo; Like I said, what's wrong with that? Oh bugger them, I'm going back to Israel.At least they know how to put on a proper banquet. Here you just get mashed potato and olives. Mind you, at that last meal in Tel Aviv, that roast bastard-
Adviser: That's bustard, sir-
BoJo: What's the difference? All I'm saying is, they didn't give us any pigs in blankets with it, and to me that's wrong.
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