Cons win overall majority- excuse me?

Those having some trouble accepting what just happened in Britain (myself included) might do well to observe that Britain is a conservative nation; therefore a political party actually called Conservative is probably going to do quite well. Yet thus was not always the way. Labour's famous victory against all the odds in 1945 is probably the best example, but there are others, notably their two wins in the 60s which I mentioned in Wednesday's blog, Callaghan's win in 1974, plus of course the Blair years.

The fascinating thing about this election, however, is how no one saw it coming, least of all the pollsters who had us talking about the rise of UKIP, the SNP and the Greens and a hung parliament as the result. Clearly it was the floating voter effect, where people made up their minds only at the polling booth, with many of them going blue at the crucial moment. Turns out the only thing the pollsters got right was  north of the border, which was a foregone conclusion anyway. The interesting question is, how and why did they get all the rest so spectacularly wrong?

To my mind the Tory victory is down to two things: the effectiveness of the right wing gutter press in presenting Milliband as a bumbling idiot not fit to govern the country, and the failure of Milliband and his team to counter that growing belief among the general public. It shouldn't have mattered that Ed has a funny voice and undeniably resembles Wallace. But it did. The electorate couldn't bring themselves to trust a lacklustre nerd, and the seeds of disaster were sown.

Yesterday we saw the "Day of the Long Knives", with three leaders falling on their swords within hours of each other. The only pity it couldn't have been four. Natalie Bennett, in her usual concrete manner has told us she was unanimously elected to lead the Green Part for two years and that that is exactly what she is going to do. Yet her performance in the campaign was lamentable and contributed significantly to their failure to break through and win more seats. To me her performance with Alex and Josh on The Last Leg" said it all. Watchers of this programme had already seen Nick Clegg do rather well with the gentle piss-taking that the team indulge in, and even persuaded Alex to vote, with the rather convincing argument: "not voting is like letting someone else order your meal at Nando's then complaining when you don't like what you get". Bennett must have been briefed that this programme is essentially comedic and indeed the questions put to her were designed to get a laugh. Did she follow them down the road that her questioners (and us) wanted her to go? Did she fuck. She just banged on about the Green manifesto, completely ignoring their questions like some George Osborne in drag, in other words acting in exactly the way we'd hope the Greens wouldn't. After all, didn't they want to offer the nation a new. more honest politics? Instead she came over as a humourless, strident bitch that no one, repeat no one would want to support. And with the exception of the blessed Saint Caroline of Brighton, they didn't. So Natalie, my message to you is this: go back to Australia and pursue your career in political journalism which is clearly your metier. As a politician in Britain, you just don't cut it.