Are you a green blob? I suspect I am. In fact I'm sure I'm one of those execrable humans Owen Patterson has targeted as being what's wrong with the world today. Here follows a quick guide to see if you too are part of the green menace:
1. If you believe the science behind global warming has some basis in reality.
2. If you believe in preserving little creatures like newts and voles. Even if you kinda like preserving larger ones, like badgers and otters.
3. If you have reservations about pumping water into the earth under such pressure that it fractures the rock, allowing gas to seep up, where it is garnered by oil companies to increase their profits.
4. If you think solar farms and wind turbines might have something to contribute to energy production.
There are more, but I think you get the picture. That's right: you're part of the problem, not the solution. You're the one standing in the way of continuous economic growth, especially that of the major players in the military/industrial/oil complex. Put another way, your views are about as valuable to Owen Patterson as the gobbet of phlegm he coughed up this morning- a green blob, a minor nuisance to be discarded and forgotten as quickly as possible. So why, he would say, don't you shut up and stop getting in the way of the multinationals who are only trying to do their job: turning a decent profit for their shareholders. Because that's the only thing that matters today, right Owen?
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