Glass Wars

My car was attacked in the street. Again. Back in 2007 I had my side windows put in no less than four times in six months and I finally gave up and began to park in my garage. You might be thinking, why doesn't he always do that? but you underestimate the socio-political minefield that is the back lane. Time and again it would be blocked by someone fixing their car, and that someone would not be anxious to move their car in any hurry. Add to that the persistent fly-tippers who leave garden refuse all over the lane, and the low-lives who use the lane for smoking heroin- often right outside the entrance to my garage. Sometimes they would overdo it and leave vomit and/or diarrhoea just where my car had to go to gain access.


I became convinced back then that it was one guy, one horrible little scumbag who knew me; maybe I had seen him in surgery and upset him in some way. My wife disagreed, accusing me of paranoia; whatever, it was four years before I plucked up the courage to risk parking it on the street again, in 2011. Then followed a quiet period, which was broken on Sunday night. Now I am waiting for the Autoglass man to come, and he will find my car safe in the garage, where it will stay until further notice. Speaking of them, what a profitable business they must run! Every time I visited them I waited in a long queue of miserables who had been likewise afflicted. I almost got to thinking they must have a team of undercover window shatterers to drum up the customers.  They certainly run a very well oiled machine.


What of poor old me? I don't want to park in my garage for ever. Maybe there's someone round here who just doesn't like smartly turned out Masda MX5s, even if they are ten years old now. So should I change my car for something less "flash" (not that I consider my little roadster to be "flash", but someone presumably disagrees). In which case what should I get? An ageing Citroen Saxo, perhaps, or a Vauxhall Astra? Thing is, I love my little Mazda: it's the most fun car I've ever had, and among the most reliable. The only thing that's gone on it is the cigarette lighter, which probably says more about my disgusting habits than the car's accessories.


Meanwhile, I wait for the glass guy. "Between 3 and 7" they said. So come on then!