Olympic report

1. SHOCK HORROR DRAMA: CAVENDISH DOESN'T WIN. SAYS: "I FOUGHT THE WORLD AND THE - WORLD WON"

In Saturday's Road Race, the British team (and everyone else) got caught out by an early break-away and despite their best efforts, failed to reel them in. Afterwards, a strange consensus seemed to shape itself: that somehow it was Britain "against the world". This was first peddled soon after the conclusion of the race by Hazel Irvine and re-iterated the following day by that doyen of radio journalism (not) Victoria Derbyshire. Even Mark himself bought into this idea. Well, I've got some news for these people: it's ALWAYS Britain against the world, and so it should be. It's always a case of one country against all the others. Why should any other country help Britain to win?

Mark said at least Australia could have given us a hand, but is he not aware that few things give an Ozzie mote pleasure than beating the Brits? I might have expected this from MC, who is not exactly the tightest chain in the Peloton, but the journalists? They should get their heads straight and realise that in EVERY race, it's country A against countries B to Z, and always has been.

GYMNASTICS JUDGES PLACE UNPRECEDENTED DEMANDS ON A NATION'S EMOTIONAL RESOURCES

Watching the British team secure a bronze medal in the team event was a wonderful moment, further enhanced when it seemed we seemed to be advanced to a silver when the Japanese guy stumbled as he dismounted the pommel horse. But then followed a steward's enquiry where after an agonising delay, they were awarded a silver and we were demoted to bronze. Goddness, how many emotional twists and turns a nation had to endure in those few minutes! I can't remember another sporting moment so laden with wildly conflicting emotions. Joy, then even more joy, followed by bitter disappointment; finally an acceptance that even bronze was actually a triumph to be savoured. What a night!

I have to ask this, however: how did it happen? Who cocked up, and why? I think we should be told. I've been through too much to simply put it all to one side. Someone needs to pay for putting an entire nation through (and I know this is a cliche, but surely justified on this occasion) one mother of an emotional rollercoaster.