Last week I took my mum for a day out. We took a walk along a beach in divinely warm autumn sunshine, and got talking to a man with a dog. Then my mum moved away to examine a nearby tree (she likes trees). Then the man said: "Your wife seems very interested in plant life."
I have to admit I was shattered. "You think that's my wife? Actually she's my mum."
"Oh, sorry", he replied, "but she is very well preserved."
But I couldn't leave it there.
"Well, I thought I was quite well preserved too, so I don't know where that leaves us. Either she is very well preserved or I am very poorly preserved."
To which he could only shrug. In order to preserve my ego, the only course I could take was to conclude he must have been a fucking idiot. But the incident continues to rankle. Do I really look that grizzled? And with my new teeth too? This is terrible.
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