Yesterday was my last day as a full-time GP and senior partner. Today I find myself in the diminished role of part-time salaried partner, due to work only 1 day a week. So how do I feel?
Yesterday I experienced a growing sense of panic which through the day brought about an almost paralysed emotional state. This was a little unfortunate for my patients, because the afternoon surgery was very busy and contained several very difficult and challenging problems. Fortunately, I managed to defer most of them to a later date for my partners to deal with as they will have more time available to address them.
So. Today is my first day of retirement. My first action: to watch "Dr Strangelove" Apart from being a truly great movie, it is one I have been familiar with since the mid 60s. I have probably seen it 20 or more times. My point is that it is associated with affording me great pleasure through many eras of my life: my adolescence, early adult life, maturity, parenthood and "beyond" parenthood to the present day, I think you can see how I have gone back to a totally reliable source of comfort. I intend to deploy this method frequently in the coming weeks as I settle down in my new, reduced role.
I admit I am scared. I have made an irreversible decision. And while logic suggests it is the correct decision, I cannot rid myself of the thought that it could be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
Oh well. I am a highly adaptable person (as most of us are when we have no option)so I will just trust to my own spirit to bring me through this crisis successfully. Meanwhile, as a distraction I shall today set up my Facebook account, under the name (if they accept it) of "The Oorb". Catch me on it if you can!
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