bovver gulls

We are currently under attack from the air. A squabble of renegade seagulls have moved in to our neighbourhood, and have taken to occupying strategic positions on the gable ends of our house and the ones nearby. From these redoubts they scan the gardens, looking for signs of movement, and if they do so a furious mobbing ensues, like some avian Stuka attack. Those dive-bombers were equipped with sirens to increase panic on the ground, and these are too.

In fact their incessant caw-cawing is even more of a problem, as they often start up at 3 o'clock in the morning. After a week of this, the cats are scared to go out in the garden, while we're getting sleep-deprived. Presumably they have built a nest somewhere abouts, and the poor darlings are only protecting their young, so disapproval seems almost churlish in the circumstances.

Even so, they would do well to complete their chick-rearing process with a degree of haste, or I shall be forced to purchase an air rifle.

DR PELAHIUS'S NEW HIGHWAY CODE

GIVING WAY

The new basic guideline is, don't: make the other guy give way for you.

EXAMPLES

1. Where there is a traffic calming road narrowing, when traffic from one direction gives way to traffic from the other. This is now superceded by: which ever vehicle is closest, has right of way.
2. Where there is a hazard on your side of the road. Now the rule has changed to: which ever vehicle can force their way through first has the right of way. This process is assisted by having a large vehicle, such as a van, pick-up or SUV.

ADDENDUM: Traffic lights

Cyclists.

NEW RULE: Traffic lights don't apply to cyclists

Safe driving! And always remember, you are probably a much better driver than nearly everyone else you meet on the road.